The Giver


enfj-A / enfj-T

The Giver

ENFJ Introduction

People with ENFJ personality characteristics are very aware of their environment. ENFJ personalities are friendly and polite, and they enjoy helping others, and working toward a shared goal. ENFJs are natural leaders, which explains why so many well-known politicians, coaches, and educators are ENFJs.

What Does ENFJ Stand For

I. What Does ENFJ Stand For?

ENFJ stands for Extraversion, iNtuition, Feeling, and Judgment and is one of 16 personality types studied from the MBTI test (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator). The MBTI personality assessment developed by Isabel Briggs Myers, Katharine Cook Briggs, and David Keirsey from the work of psychiatrist Carl G. Jung, the types of psychology based on theories of cognitive functions. Keirsey named ENFJ The Giver/ The Teacher because this group tends to help others, and ENFJs are one of the four oriented-idealist personality types.

II. Personality Traits of The ENFJ Group

Personality Traits of The ENFJ Group

ENFJs are kind teachers. They have a strong charisma that makes others trust their guidance and help. Many ENFJs can manipulate and attract others easily due to their communication skills and the special art of selling. But it is not because ENFJs want to control others, they only believe in their dreams and assume they are just helpers and guides, and often they are just like that.

ENFJs are knowledgeable. They have a panoramic view. They also can focus on many things so several ENFJs can handle multiple responsibilities and projects at the same time. Many ENFJs have excellent business capabilities.

ENFJs are organized and assertive (group J), but they differ from other J groups in terms of both organizational personality and stubbornness. ENFJs are organized people in terms of social relations. Their conclusions based on emotions about people and their motivations for action are often quicker and more reliable than other groups.

ENFJs understand and value others. Like people in group NF (or more broadly, group F), they often sacrifice their own needs for others. They also have fragile psychological boundaries than other groups and are easily vulnerable and are taken advantage of by less sensitive people. The burden that ENFJs place on themselves is often heavier than they can bear.

III. The Cognitive Functions of The ENFJ Group

Cognitive Functions of The ENFJ Group 

Dominant: Extraverted Feeling

ENFJs demonstrate this cognitive function by engaging social behavior and harmonious social relationships. They put others first and are so attuned to other people's feelings that they ignore their own needs. They emphasize more the considerations of individuals and objects than objective criteria when making decisions. Their primary concern is the impact of the decision on others.

Auxiliary: Introverted Intuition

ENFJs prefer to think about the future rather than the present. They can often be so focused on a larger goal that they don't notice the details at hand. As ENFJs take in information about the world, their introversion processes this data to make impressions, ideas, and thoughts. This allows them to discover patterns and understand complex or abstract data.

Tertiary: Extraverted Sensing

ENFJs' sense of extrovert causes them to be receptive to the present moment and gather specific details and conscious information from the environment. As a result, they are often looking for new or interesting experiences and feelings. ENFJs tend to be very mindful of their current environment. This can lead to an appreciation of aesthetics and a desire to create a peaceful area.

Inferior: Introverted Thinking

ENFJs are well organized, structured, and planned. Following a predictable schedule helps ENFJs feel in control of the world around them. Because this is a more inferior function, ENFJs may not be very confident in their own logical and organizational capabilities. Developing this functionality can help them feel more balanced and in control of their decision-making process. Ignoring this aspect of personality can lead to relying solely on individual values in decision making and neglecting logical needs.

IV. ENFJ Values and Motivations

1. ENFJ values

ENFJs are ideal organizers. They orient and implement their best visions for the collective and humanity. 

ENFJs excel in the ability to pick out the values and competencies of others, share advantages from the collective, and apply it to a social group to create harmony.

ENFJs are energetic and oriented with lots of capabilities deep within. They can self-adjust to the needs of others in the collective, with anticipation and awareness, deep feelings, and empathy for other people's problems. 

ENFJs always think about the future to improve themself, by intuition and optimistic inclinations. 

ENFJs always want to connect closely with people, support, and collaborate with them at work. Besides, they are also very ambitious, however, their ambition is not personal but always towards the community to help everyone get better together.

2. ENFJ Motivations

ENFJs tend to be motivated by their relationships with others. They enjoy meeting and connecting with new people regularly while maintaining strong relationships with friends and family.

As natural planners, they are always stimulated by organization and custom. ENFJs can feel most comfortable when they can follow a consistent plan throughout the day.

ENFJs love to make a difference in their community and often feel motivated by a desire to bring about positive change. They tend to have high moral values and are likely to spend a lot of time focusing on helping others.

They tend to be motivated when they feel like others are genuinely interested in them. ENFJs want to feel loved by those around them and often focus on doing what they can to be appreciated and valued by their friends, family, and colleagues.

ENFJs can feel motivated when taking part in their own needs. They sometimes forget to take time to care for themselves, which can be detrimental to their health and well-being. When they can take a step back and focus on themselves, they'll feel a lot more energetic.

When ENFJs can participate in energizing work, they will feel better and more productive. They will be able to make good use of their abilities and enjoy the work they are doing, which will likely improve their overall level of engagement in the work environment.

V. Strengths and Weaknesses of ENFJs

1. ENFJ Strengths

An observant mind. ENFJs believe that there are no details or actions that are unrelated so they try to see all the events as part of a great mystery puzzle known as life.

Closeness and friendliness. ENFJs are goodwill and cooperative, doing their best to have sympathy and friendliness in all situations. They can hang out with most people and usually have a large circle of friends and acquaintances.

Full of energy and enthusiasm. ENFJs are always eager to share their ideas with others and get their feedback. Their enthusiasm is very inspirational and contagious at the same time.

Know how to relax. They know when to pause and enjoy, simply experience life.

Excellent communication skills. ENFJs have great communication skills and they quickly come up with ways to present their ideas to people in a convincing way.

Curiosity. ENFJs are very imaginative and open-minded. They love to try new things and don't hesitate to go outside if they need to.

Attractive. ENFJs are charming and admired by many people. They instinctively know how to attract people's attention, as well as communicate effectively with them.

Altruism. ENFJs are warm and selfless, always ready to help others. They are quite idealistic and motivated by the idea of doing something good for the world.

Empathy. ENFJs make it easy to sense what is driving, motivating, and even the worries of others, and can instinctively adjust their behavior and reasoning accordingly.

Inborn leadership. ENFJs are not looking for domination or governance, but people are drawn to their charm and eloquence. They tend to be open-minded and easy to accept, willing to consider opposing ideas as long as they don't contradict their inner principles. Therefore, they can easily get along with most other personality groups.

Reliability. ENFJs work hard on the things they consider the matter. If their role excites and motivates people around, ENFJs become very patient and reliable.

Independence. ENFJs do not like to be tightly regulated or restricted by regulations and guidelines. They want to be seen as a real independent individual – the master of their destiny.

2. ENFJ Weaknesses

Too complaisant. ENFJs often take on too much work or become deeply involved in other people's affairs, trying too hard not to offend or disappoint anyone.

Very idealistic. They are oftentimes too idealistic or even naive, believing that everyone is kind and cares about moral principles.

Too sensitive. ENFJs have core principles and values within them. They are vulnerable if someone criticizes them, neither do ENFJs stay calm in the face of negative criticism or opposition.

May find it difficult to make hard decisions. Due to their altruism and sensitivity, ENFJs fluctuate between different measures and cannot stop thinking about all possible consequences.

Self-esteem is easily shaken. The self-esteem of ENFJs depends on whether they can live up to their ideals and achieve their goals, while at the same time making sure that everyone around them is pleasant. If ENFJs' ideas are constantly criticized or they can't bring people closer to them, their confidence will likely reduce.

May have poor practice skills. ENFJs are great at solving problems, creating processes, or starting projects (especially if they involve others). However, they may find it difficult to adopt and put it into practice, besides managing things.

Overthinking. ENFJs are always looking for hidden motives and tend to overthink even the simplest of matters, constantly wondering why someone did what they did and how those things made sense.

Get stressed easily. ENFJs are quite sensitive and care deeply about the feelings of others. This can cause a lot of stress, as people tend to turn to ENFJs for guidance and encouragement. ENFJs cannot always say "yes".

Get distracted easily. ENFJs often lose interest quickly if their project changes towards simple, routine, or administrative work. They cannot stop idle thoughts in their heads.

VI. Personal Relationships of ENFJs

To some extent, ENFJs define themselves by being close and honest in their relationships, so they dedicate as much as possible as if it is their duty. They excel at offering good things and supporting others wholeheartedly. 

1. Romantic relationship

ENFJs want their partners' agreement although it is difficult to ask about it. When a situation occurs, they become alert and sharp. After giving their opinions, they return to their warm nature. They may be inclined to show affection excessively with their beloved ones, but in general, ENFJs are appreciated for their sincerity and natural concern.

ENFJs feel most comfortable when they are in a relationship, they take dating and relationships seriously, choosing a partner in terms of developing a long term relationship. There is no greater pleasure for ENFJs than supporting the goals of the person they care about and the interweaving of lives that a committed relationship presents is the perfect opportunity to fulfill that.

Their Intuitive (N) trait helps them keep up with the mood swings often seen in relationships, but they will still create conversations about the feelings of both, potential problems, and things that they can do to work it out. While this can help reduce conflicts, they also run the risk of becoming overbearing or clingy when their good intentions are misinterpreted in the other direction of interrogating their partner.

ENFJs value their partner's happiness. Making the other person's goals come true is often in their greatest interest and they will spare no effort of helping their partner fulfill their dreams. However, their seeking of satisfaction may cause them to ignore their own needs, and they must express those needs at times, especially as soon as possible.

ENFJs' tendency to avoid any kind of conflict, even sometimes sacrificing their principles to keep the peace, can lead to lasting problems if these efforts never fully solve the underlying problems they hide.

On the other hand, they invest all of their emotions in their relationships, and sometimes their desire to please others to the point of actually ruining the relationship – which can lead to resentment and even the failure of the relationship. When this happens, ENFJs experience strong feelings of guilt and betrayal, as they see all their efforts slip away.

Even so, if a potential partner appreciates these qualities and works hard to meet the needs of ENFJs, they will enjoy a long, happy, and passionate relationship. ENFJs are known to be trustworthy lovers, perhaps more concerned with habits and stability than spontaneity in their sex lives, but always dedicated to their spouse's altruistic satisfaction. In the end, ENFJs believes that the only true happiness is shared happiness and that is what makes relationships successful.

2. Friendship

ENFJs are considered warm and kind by their friends because they enjoy getting to know and making friends with everyone. They easily communicate with people, including introverts. It is worth mentioning that ENFJs are quite selective about finding the closest friends – they value honesty and sincerity, so they are not always willing to open up intimately to everyone they know.

Because of their extroverted nature, ENFJs are enthusiastic in communication, trying to create connections and empathy with everyone around them. They want to find the best friends they can imagine. Such an approach is certainly commendable, but ENFJs need to make sure that their excessive enthusiasm does not suffocate others as sometimes they come on a little too strong. ENFJ friends are always supportive, cheerful, and devoted.

Although belonging to the Feeling group (F), ENFJs also give straightforward feedback when needed. ENFJs don't prefer this approach, but they are also quite determined and critical if the situation demands. It is hard to resist making friends with ENFJs, and although they can be a bit stiff at times, their energy and sincerity will calm everything.

ENFJs are capable and willing to work for their friendship and put it very high on their priorities list. They are happy to help people discover their strengths and passions, and then assist people in developing their potentials. This is not completely altruistic because ENFJs also want friends to pay back for their help – but of course, ENFJs will certainly be appreciated and highly respected due to their valuable qualities.

3. Parenthood

ENFJs are excellent parents who strive to strike a balance between being friends that encourage and support their children, while also attempting to create strong values and a sense of personal responsibility thanks to their innate leadership. They have a strong tendency to empathize with others, not forcing people to do what they have to do but instead helping them explore their advantages and encouraging them to follow their hearts.

ENFJ parents take pride in nurturing and inspiring great values, and they care to ensure that the basis for these values comes from understanding, not blind obedience. ENFJ parents devote the necessary time and energy to provide their children with whatever they need to learn and develop.

Due to their dislike of conflicts, ENFJ parents try to assure that their home provides a safe and conflict-free environment. Although they may offer criticism, that is not their strong point, and setting the necessary discipline can be difficult sometimes. However, ENFJ parents have high standards for their children and encourage them to be the best they can, and when these confrontations happen, they try to frame lessons as prototypes, moral constants in life that they hope their children will perceive.

Parenthood ENFJ

As their children enter puberty, they begin to make their own decisions, sometimes contrary to what their parents want – while ENFJs will do their best to accommodate this with charm and a sense of humor, they can feel hurt and unloved in the face of this rebellion. ENFJs are very sensitive, and if their child goes too far to get into criticism, they can become annoyed, opposed, and argumentative.

Fortunately, these scenarios can be very rare. ENFJs' intuition gives them the ability to understand, and regardless of the moment of discomfort, their children will move forward, remembering the true warmth, concern, love, and encouragement they have always received from ENFJ parents. They grow up and feel the lessons woven into their character and realize that they get better through the efforts of their parents.

4. Relationship with other personality groups

For INFJ, ESFJ, ENFP groups: they have similar qualities and many things in common so it is easy for ENFJs to share values, interests, and approaches with these groups.

For INTJ, INFP, ENTP, ENTJ groups: they have some differences, however, these turn to be quite attractive to ENFJs. They still have few things in common to build a well-balanced relationship with these groups.

For ISFJ, INTP, ESTJ, ESFP groups: At first, ENFJs may have some difficulties accessing and connecting with these groups. Still, after knowing each other for a while, they will discover commonalities as well as other points of view that can complement each other.

For ISTP, ISTJ, ISFP, ESTP groups: these groups are quite distinct and contrast to ENFJs. But if it is possible to develop relationships with each other, ENFJs will learn and develop themselves from these groups, the challenges always come along with great opportunities.

VII. ENFJ Career Paths and Development Areas

The flexibility in personality makes ENFJs spend a lot of time choosing a career. Once ENFJs work in a supportive and motivating environment, they will perform excellently, especially in jobs that involve human communication and face the many challenges that stimulate their creativity.

When ENFJs look for a job, they are always interested in what they are passionate about, which is helping others. Therefore, they are suitable for the following career fields:

  • Community and social services (Health Education, Marriage and Family Counselor);
  • Social media (Editor, Public Relations, Author);
  • Education (Teachers, Administrators);
  • Business, management, and sales (Marketing, Human Resource Management, Business Management);
  • Entertainment, art, and design;
  • Individual Care Services (Personal trainer, Nanny);
  • Science (Psychologist, Sociologist);
  • Laws (Lawyer);
  • Health care (Dietitians, Physiotherapists);
  • Office and administration.

Since they tend to be more Intuitive (N) than Observant (S), jobs that require special situational awareness, such as law enforcement, military service, and emergency response, will make ENFJs exhausted quickly. Although very good at organizing goodwill parties and winning over skeptics, in emergencies, ENFJs will not be able to maintain the immediate focus on their surroundings that they inevitably require at all times.

VIII. How ENFJs perform in the work and learning environment

ENFJ students enjoy learning in a group setting where they can interact with other classmates and discuss lessons. They are interested in both social and science subjects, their favorite subjects that are sure to be related to learning about people and human needs. ENFJs are excellent students of their teachers, but ENFJs even perform better when their teachers are warm and friendly.

They love to work in a human environment while also having the freedom and self-respect to complete tasks. Also, to be completely happy at work, they need social interaction, help from the leaders, and good feedback from everyone.

How ENFJs perform in the work and learning environment

ENFJs love leadership positions. Not only do ENFJs communicate with others but they also have an opportunity to lead people to do great things. They will be very caring leaders and know how to get others interested in their ideas and help. ENFJ's leadership style is wonderful. Usually, they encourage people to contribute and consider all the ideas, if there are differences in opinion among team members, they will do their best to create consensus and harmony. The ENFJ leader will always be the one who clearly defines the individual's duties, helps their subordinates in planning and implementation, and strives to meet the needs of all team members.

As colleagues, ENFJs' desire to support and cooperate becomes even more apparent as they engage their colleagues in groups where people can feel comfortable expressing their opinions and their proposals, jointly developing mutually beneficial situations to get the job done. ENFJs' tolerance, openness, and sociability make it easier for them to get in touch with their colleagues, but it can also easily get their colleagues to pass the responsibility to them. Because they are sensitive to the needs of others, they are often the ones to troubleshoot for others.

As subordinates, ENFJs will oftentimes underestimate themselves – however, they quickly impress their manager. Fast learning and outstanding multitasking, ENFJs can take on multiple responsibilities with energy and enthusiastic cheers. However, some managers will take advantage of the excellent quality of ENFJs by over-demanding and forcing them to take on more work. Due to their nature of dislike for conflict and attempt to avoid unnecessary criticism, they will most likely accept these additional missions to try to maintain a positive impression and a harmonious atmosphere.

IX. 10 Things you might not know about ENFJs

1. The ENFJ is a very influential personality group and about 2% of the population has this kind of personality.

2. ENFJs are usually more reserved about self-expression than other types of extroverted personality. Even though they have very strong beliefs, they often refrain from expressing them if they prevent them from doing the best for others.

3. ENFJ men and women are ambitious, but their ambition is to serve others rather than themselves.

4. ENFJs don't like selfish people.

5. ENFJs can feel a little lost even when in a crowd. That feeling of loneliness and inadequacy can intensify because they tend not to want to show who they are.

6. ENFJs tend to overthrow things.

7. ENFJs feel more reluctant to talk about themselves than other types of extroverted personalities.

8. ENFJs should not be left alone for a long time without sufficient interaction from the outside world. They will blame themselves and overthink, which makes their emotions unstable.

9. An emotionally underdeveloped ENFJ may have difficulty making an accurate decision and may be highly dependent on others in the decision-making process.

10. ENFJs want everything to be organized, and willing to work hard to keep work progress as well as solve ambiguous problems. They tend to take care of themselves, especially with their home.

X. ENFJ famous people

  • Martin Luther King, Jr. American human rights activist;
  • Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the United States;
  • Nelson Mandela, President of South Africa, human rights activist;
  • John Paul II, Pope;
  • Sheryl Sandberg, Executive at Facebook, author of the book Lean In;
  • Cicero, Roman politician;
  • Tony Blair, British Prime Minister;
  • Oprah Winfrey, a Famous American artist;
  • Barack Obama, 45th President of the United States;
  • Demi Lovato, a Famous American singer.